Wedding! Well my first question would be here…what is ‘a wedding’? You will say a merging of two souls, may be. I say bullshit! Why? I am about to go there. You please hold on.
As to my conscience, In India, a wedding is a ticket to get laid legally, perhaps not with whom u loved before, but with the chosen one. Here, Don’t get too excited when I say the words “chosen one” ’cause here you can’t choose, someone else will choose that for you, sounds interesting,right! And the ticket alone costs over lakhs only. It comes with a little surprise later, if you haven’t have any money left to buy condoms.
For the wedding ticket, the more you can afford, the more you get, yeah? No, that’s not how this works. Basically, when you have done fucking the best thing that belongs to you (your mind), you wed someone. Okay, this was just the prologue.
I am in my college days now. I am particularly not thinking about my career but behave like thinking about it. Sometime, I hangout with girls to look cool, but nobody is really not into me. Sometime, I smoke on the counter of someone else’s cigarette. Days usually offer nothing much than that. Basically, my life sucks but I,myself, do all the sucking. U don’t understand? Good. Even, I don’t.
And then a month before, I got this amazing news from my mom,” babu sunechhis, dada r biye thik hoechhe.”
“Really!”, I shouted and I am all exited. It’s the wedding. THE WEDDING. I have been waiting for this since I was in 8th grade.
I am all like,” Yes! Yes! Yes!”
Though that excitement got dissolved in the very next moment.
There should be a bad news, ’cause The God enjoys messing with good people like me.
Mom said,”It’s happening soon, in the July” “There’s the almighty!”
“What! What the fuuuu….! Why?” I got really sad. The wedding is in the monsoons. I mean seriously! Who does that? That’s really nonsensical. Yeah, my relatives have thought of this great plan. Awesome! In my mind, I was thinking of these people would do exactly the same to me some years later
“Babu achhis?” ‘Maa was repeatedly asking me on the other side of the phone. I said,”Hmm, thanks for the news, bye maa!” I cut off the line.
As SRK said,” Agar kisi cheez ko dil de chaho toh puri kainat use tumse milane ki sajish karti hai.” I believed him first. Now I don’t. I am all Ganesh Gaitonde now. I have decided from now on, the next person asks me about marriage, he has to hear some of my words, I swear.
“Tabood pataa hai?……”
( To be continued )
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