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Modern Poetry

Do I know you? Do I need you? Yes I do, may be perhaps

Do I know you?
Do I need you?
Yes I do, may be perhaps obviously.
I love you like before?
I am thinking…
Trying too hard to be…
But failing somehow miserably, without any recluse.
I feel happiness?
No, you are stucked.
You are killing me,
Your love is like my pain.
Do I respect you?
I love you, respect you.
A wonderful person…not for me.
And now I am falling out of love.
Do I still have the power?
Don’t think so.
I just have the power to suppress my gloomy face.
You are too precious to be broken.
I can’t break you for my reasons.
I can’t attack you for my reason.
I can lie, I can be happy, I can see you happy.
Only to sacrificing my happiness.
Do I love you?
Yes. A lot. A lot to leave you.
I can’t. I know I will miss your presence.
I know I will be left alone.
I know.
I feel now…
No. A numbing pain is spreading in my bones.
And love feels like a heavy burden…
I can’t love you anymore.
I needed this.
I need you. Only you.
Is that your smile?
Yes. I am trying…trying hard to make you smile.
Am I?
Whole-heartedly?
Do I?
No may be.
Heart is missing.
I can’t tell you where. But it is.
You know this but I can’t explain it to you.
Sorry, for this.
Sorry for the pain.
I know you are in pain.
I am as well.
Sorry. Really.
Do I make any sense now?
Hopefully, one day I will.
If not now, eventually you will pass this.
So as I.
Give me the time to nurture my innocence.
The silence is killing me.
Now I will make you feel special.
If not now, I will.

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Shaheli Baidya

Describing me is not so easy, though I can try with few fragments of words. Masters student in Jadavpur University, cute innocent face, intelligent from inside, a good speaker with stammering issues, sort of anger issues, sort of over thinking issues and sort of imagination issues of those non-existential situations. Thank you, for keeping patience and read this whole thing.

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