I don’t know why I am penning down my soul talks in your heart. May be because, at this point of time I am missing him badly.
I am feeling like I need him, yes I do. Because, he is the one who gives… sorry, used to give me strength during exam times. He was the one who used to support me, help me to keep faith on myself during past tough times. But the fact is he had left me long ago and since then I am surviving alone.
Hence, I am proud of me. Dear heart, mind and soul thank you for being strong, when it was needed badly. Because we already know that, will not come again in front of your balcony to give you confidence anymore. He will never call you at 12 30 of nigh just to say, “I have come back home as I promised. Now do well in your exam idiot; all will be fine.” He will never wish all the best, he will never scold you for your panic, never tease you calling his chatterbox, and will never be worried for your exam.
And trust me in spite of having all these silly thoughts on the pre exam week, I am still fine. Oh yes, I have to be so. Because at the end of the day I have to perform well in my own fight. None is going to help me there— neither he, nor even my parents.
So, all I have to do is find a inspiration inside me. Well, that’s not a tough job I must say that. If my heart can still beat with all those painful scars, if that poor boy can smile with out guile in an empty stomach, I can be strong too. Yes I know I do act like a kid still now, but I have learnt to take care of myself.
This is just the beginning. I’ll walk some miles more that to in my own capabilities. Fears will come, they will try to hallucinate my vision, but still I will overcome them. Amidst all the negativity, my strong self is the positive thing I do possess. Yes I love me, love me for being strong enough to walk alone in an empty road without fear, responsible enough to cross the road with out deperacy by myself, and for being kid enough to find happiness in smallest thing.
Dear diary thank you for being the most patient and atentive listner i can ever get, who never gets tired of preserving all my abrupt thoughts in your heart.
Lots of love.
Your one and only
“The girl who has learnt to stay strong now”